


Fareeha's Big Birthday Blowout

by kapachiramasama



Series: Gilmore Girls AU [2]
Category: Gilmore Girls, Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: A lot of people are drunk ok, Alternate Universe - Domestic, Cowboy Kink, Drunk Fareeha, Drunk Hanzo, Drunk Junkrat, Drunken Confessions, Drunken Flirting, F/F, F/M, Family Drama, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, alcohol use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-20
Updated: 2016-07-20
Packaged: 2018-07-25 14:59:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7537297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kapachiramasama/pseuds/kapachiramasama
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For Fareeha's Birthday, McCree wants Hanzo to go out and have fun. Hanzo, however, hasn't had fun in literal years, so his alcohol tolerance is pretty low.</p><p>A follow up to "Star's Hollow, Conneticut", Gilmore Girls AU McHanzo, with side Pharmercy and Symmrat. Probably Reaper76 too, who fucking knows.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fareeha's Big Birthday Blowout

McCree was a simple man. He worked hard at the Inn to provide for his family, he paid his bills on time mostly, he did volunteer work, and he enjoyed his tri weekly movie marathons with his daughter. All he asked the Lord in return was to never see what his house looked like between the hours of 3 am and 10 am on the weekends sober. When he heard his doorbell ringing at exactly 8:36 on a Sunday morning, he racked his brain, trying to remember what he had done to deserve this. 

It took him two minutes of punching his alarm clock and stumbling around to make it to his bedroom doorway, and another three minutes to make it too his front door. From what he gathered a) someone was there and b) Hana was still asleep and c) he needed to invest in slippers. He opened the door, and, after letting his eyes adjust to the harsh morning light, found Doctor Angela Ziegler at his door.

His neighbor always looked crisp and clean, her eyes were bright, albeit a bit startled, and her cardigan white as the morning snow. She smiled at him, something he was not capable of doing yet.

“Eh, good morning, McCree! I’m sorry, did I wake you?” She asked. Her accent was prominent, but her English was better than anyone else’s in this town. He scratched his chin.

“It’s 8:30,” He grumbled. 

“Ah, yes, I know. I’m sorry, I’ve been up for hours, and I forgot that other’s like to sleep in,” McCree was resting his entire weight on the doorframe, cheek smashed, eyes half open.

“I’m wearing clothes, right?” He asked. Angela looked a bit concerned.

“Yes. Is there a reason you wouldn’t?”

“It’s laundry day, couldn’t remember if I had pajamas,” He scrubbed his face, deciding there was no chance of going to sleep again. Angela nodded.

“Oh, of course. Well I came by to invite you to a get together for Fareeha’s birthday,” McCree nodded. 

“Right, right, her birthdays on Saturday, right? You havin’ a party or somethin’?”

“Well, that’s the thing,” She pulled out her phone, scrolling through. “I’m scheduled to be at the hospital that night, and the one’s after. We do have a dinner planned, but I thought she could have another celebration with her friends that night. A little surprise, maybe a -What would be the appropriate word?- Ambush?” She grinned cheerily, but McCree raised an eyebrow.

“You want me to kidnap yer wife?” Angela gave a short laugh.

“Just a surprise! Not something dangerous,”

“Angela, I’m a grown man. I kill spiders for my daughter, I hitch hiked across the country when I was 19-I have been stabbed, for Christ’s sake. And I have never been more terrified of anything on God’s green earth than Fareeha,” Angela laughed again, this time with actual humor.

“My Pharah is a sweetheart! She would never hurt you!”

“I know. She’s like a sister to me, I worked a long while with her mother. I knew her when she had braces and a bad haircut. I was there for her transition into the absolute beast she is now. And I’m deathly afraid of her,”

“McCree, you’re being dramatic,” Angela said. 

“Remember the first Christmas party you guys held at your home?” He asked.

“Yes, what about it?”

“Remember how I dressed up as Santa? I had that sack o’ presents for the kids? Then I snuck around the back of the house, ready to surprise y’all, and Fareeha saw me, thought I was a burglar, and-”

“Oh, McCree!” Angela smacked his shoulder lightly. “That was just a misunderstanding! Fareeha had never celebrated a real Christmas before,”

“She broke my thumb and sprained my wrist, Ang,” 

“But she apologized! I really wanted her to have a night out with her friends. She never goes out without me anymore. It will be fun! Please?” Angela pouted a bit, exaggerating. McCree sighed.

“As much as I’d love too, I can’t. Hana is having a sleepover that night, and I gotta make sure she doesn’t act like a total square in front of her friends,” Angela’s shoulders sagged a bit before giving a half grin.

“It’s fine, McCree, I understand,” Nothing like guilt to actually wake McCree wake up. He felt like he had slashed an angel’s tires.

“Aw, hell. I hope I’m not puttin’ ya out like this,” He asked. Angela shook her head.

“No! Not at all! Everyone else is coming. It’s only you and Hanzo that can’t,” McCree cocked his head to the side.

“Hanzo’s not? Why? I’m getting Genji for the night, and he has Lena open the diner on Sunday’s,” If Hanzo was cheating on him, that’s one thing. But telling Angela was so amateur, it was almost as insulting as the adultery itself. Angela glanced off to the side.

“Well, I haven’t asked him yet, but, I thought, since you can’t go…” She trailed off. McCree though he was picking up on what she was laying down and scoffed, waving a hand dismissively.

“Aw, don’t fret. We’re not one of those couples that are chained to the hip. He’d be ecstatic to go out and not have to finish a fight in the Olive Garden parking lot for me,”

“Oh, it’s not that,” She said, staring at his strangely. “It’s just, well, Hanzo isn’t as … sociable, when you’re not around,” McCree thought it over. When they went out as a group, it was mostly with McCree’s friends. Usually, the ice was broken when they all started ganging up on McCree. He shook his head.

“He’ll be there. He likes Fareeha, even if it’s because I’m afraid of her,”Angela giggled again.

“McCree, if you keep saying that, one day I will believe you,” Angela turned to leave, waving.

“No, Angela, I’m serious. She makes me nervous. Like, driving-down-the-wrong-side-of-the-road, nervous,” Angela laughed again, at the end of the lawn now. “This is a cry for help!” He shouted. Angela shook her head, and walked up her own lawn and into her neat little town house. McCree sighed, retreating into his own house to wake up Hana. If he has to be unhappy, everyone does.  
\--

“It works for everybody,” Hana said, taking a sip of her coffee. McCree propped his feet up on the table, leaning back in his chair.

“I’m not saying it doesn’t; obviously everyone can answer. I’m doubting it’s ability to say anything about a guy’s personality,” He took Hana’s coffee and took a swig. It was finally warming up in Star’s Hollow, so he got away with a button down, jeans, and his snake skin boots. Even Hana, fresh out of school for the day, didn’t have to wear her cardigan. Hanzo, meanwhile, was glad he didn’t have to turn on the heater, which seemed to be his favourite thing to complain about on dates.

The midday sun streamed through the diner’s large windows, making the baby blues and whites of the diner more saturated. Warmer. Kids were laughing, couples were flirting, coffee wafted through the air, and McCree wasn’t needed at work. The jingle of the dine door opening really completed the scene, even if it couldn’t translate to the postcard McCree was picturing in his head. 

“Okay, wait, Mei’s coming in,” Hana said, eyeing the door.

Even in nice weather, Mei still wore what McCree could only describe as a parka as she walked into the diner. She smiled lovingly at the other patrons, even waving at the group of her beginning dance students at the counter.

“Hey, Miss Mei!” Hana called. Mei spun around, and, upon seeing McCree and his daughter, walked over to them.

“Hello Hana! Hello, Jesse! Good afternoon!” Besides Hanzo, Mei was the only one that called McCree by his first name. He nodded at her.

“Hello to you too, Miss Mei.” McCree nodded.

“Miss Mei,” Hana started, leaning over the table, serious look in her eye. “I have a question for you; Who’s Anne Hathaway?”

Not expecting that question, Mei thought it over for a second, tilting her head to the side, before her eyes brightened.

“Oh! She was the young woman in The Devil Wears Prada!” She said. Hana looked at her father, grinning.

“See, this is what I’m talking about. Miss Mei enjoys movies that center around female relationships, with comedic and romantic overtones that don’t distract from the lead. However, she doesn’t go to the movies so often, so she didn’t say Bride Wars or The Intern,” Hana evaluated. Mei looked confused.

“I’m sorry, I don’t understand?” She asked.

“Hana has this idea that everyone’s personality is defined by which movie they say when they think of Anne Hathaway,” McCree explained. Hana raised a finger.

“Not an idea; a hypothesis,” She smiled warmly at Mei. “Thank you for your time, Miss Mei. Your answer will be recorded and your participation is appreciated,” Mei smiled and nodded, albeit confused.

“What did you say, Jesse?” She asked.

“Ella Enchanted, of course,” He scoffed. 

“I made him watch that movie every day for a year,” Hana beamed. “And every time he cried when she almost stabbed Prince Char,” 

“It was an emotional scene, Hana,” He said defensively, stomping on foot on the table. “Did you want me to set the example that men don’t cry? Do you know what kinda damage that would have done to your psyche?” 

“I am going to go order now, but thank you for including me!” Mei waved and went to sit with her students on the counter. Hana stole back her coffee cup and drank, staring at her dad.

“You know Hanzo will be mad that you have your feet up on the counter,” She said. McCree scoffed.

“Listen here, girly. There are certain privileges that come with shakin’ it up with the diner owner. This is one of them,” As soon as he said it, Hanzo briskly walked over to them, shoving McCree’s feet off the counter, nearly knocking him out of his chair. Once he stabilized, he looked up.

“Nice to see you too, honey. Think you could tone down on the PDA?” Hanzo gave him a death stare, which was intimidating, even through the apron around his waist and the fact McCree sees him naked on a regular basis. In fact, it probably made it worse.

“People eat here,” He said seriously. He took out his notepad. “Two orders of hamburgers and fries for the both of you?” He asked. McCree grinned.

“You pay attention! I love that about you, doll,” Even though he hid it well, it was the subtle way his eyebrows furrowed and cheeks just barely pinked that McCree knew Hanzo secretly loved his constant shower of affection. Granted, he would do it even if he didn’t, but approval made it so much more fun.

“Right,” He stalked away again, but turned back briefly. “And don’t try to pay this time!” He said, taking his place behind the counter. McCree stood up and sat at the end of the counter, away from where Mei was teaching her students simple Chinese phrases.

“I’ll just mail it straight to Lena, then,” He asked. He leaned over the counter, as Hanzo was refilling salt shakers. “Did you hear about Fareeha’s outing?” He asked. Hanzo nodded.

“Doctor Ziegler had mentioned it earlier, yes,” He said. McCree waited a bit.

“And? Are you going?” Hanzo hesitated.

“No, I had not planned on it,” He admitted. McCree sighed dramatically, pressing a hand to his temple.

“Oh Lord, mother was right. I didn’t know I was dating a seventy year old who hates fun and young people,” He said sarcastically.

“McCree…”

“Hey, I was wondering. Do your AARP benefits travel over to me too? Because movie tickets are so damn expensive now and days,”

“McCree, listen-”

“No, I understand. Getting drunk might upset your nurse,”

“I haven’t been drunk in years,”

“Right, not since D-Day,”

“Jesse,” Hanzo said pointedly. “I am not the type to go out and drink often, especially with people that know each other better than me. I enjoy quiet evenings in. You know this,”

“We go out all the time!” McCree said.

“Yes, because you enjoy bars, and I enjoy your company,” McCree rubbed the back of his neck.

“Jeez, have I really been dragging you along and forcing you to do all this crap ya don’t wanna do?” He asked. Hanzo looked up and put down the salt shakers. He reached out and grabbed McCree’s hand, squeezing it reassuringly.

“I wouldn’t do anything I didn’t want to. I like going out with you and meeting your friends,” He said, voice quieter, as if he was afraid of anyone finding out he had feelings.

“I’m just worried that your anti-social,” McCree admitted. They held eye contact for a moment, before Hanzo’s shoulders sagged.

“Genji will be with you?” 

“All night,”

“Then I don’t really have a reason not to go,” McCree broke into a huge grin. He leaned over the counter, grabing the front of Hanzo’s shirt. He pulled him in for a quick kiss.

“I’m proud of you, babe. Going out there, meeting with the young people. Now, remember, people can carry phones in their pockets now, so if someone makes a call-” Hanzo cut McCree off with another kiss. The spontaneity of it made McCree’s head spin, and he completely lost his train of thought beside’s ‘Hanzo smells like vanilla today.’

“I’m too good for you,” Hanzo said when he broke apart. He was grinning down at his notepad, betraying his insult.

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” Hanzo went back into the kitchen and McCree turned around and sat with Hana at her table. At some point, Genji and Lúcio had returned from school, and were eating the food Lena had brought. Hana leaned over the table as she spoke.

“...Do either of you know who she is?” She said seriously. 

“Oh, yeah! She’s the girl from Batman! Catwoman!” Lúcio said excitingly. Hana grinned smugly.

“She was in The Princess Diaries, right?” Genji said. Hana nodded and turned to McCree.

“See, Lúcio said Batman because he likes exciting movies, filled with actions and explosions. Meanwhile, Genji said The Princess Diaries because, while he pretends to be a suave playboy, he’s really just a dork who likes feel good princess movies,” Lúcio laughed while Genji’s face got red.

“Damn, she got you!” Lúcio laughed.

“I can like good movies and still get dates!” He said defensively. Lúcio laughed even harder, along with Hana and McCree. Hanzo emerged from the kitchen, catching Hana’s eye.

“Hey, Hanzo!” She called across the diner. He looked up at her but didn’t say anything. “Who’s Anne Hathaway?”

“That was William Shakespeare's wife, yes?” He said. There was a beat. Hana and McCree gave eachother a look before looking back at him.

“He’s technically right, ya know,” McCree pointed out.

“I don’t know where to put him. I didn’t expect that,” Hana said, voice slightly shocked.

“Really? I did,” Genji said, suddenly tired.

\---

McCree didn’t realize the significance of the Anne Hathaway question until he was at the Blackwatch Inn, and casually brought it up to Amélie a few days later.

“She did a magnificent job in the movie adaption of Les Miserable,” She said, briskly leading him to the kitchen. McCree’s eyes widened and he let out a booming laugh, even though he struggled to keep pace with her.

“She was right! Holy mother a’ God! Sweet Jesus, you are so-” 

“Yes, I know, French. You tell me everyday. Keep up,” She had ambushed him the second he walked through the door, hardly giving him to greet the guests checking in. She had lead him through the Inn, out the back door, along the patio, and out to the small pond behind the Inn. Despite the pace, he appreciated the gorgeous weather and blooming flowers. There were even ducks swimming along the surface. To his surprise, they weren’t alone. Jamison, Satya, and Roadhog were all there, standing at the edge of the pond, waiting.

“What’s goin’ on?” He asked. Jamison shrugged.

“Dunno, mate. Amy here dragged us out a bit ago, said she needed to get you first,” Satya nodded. He held up his hands, eyebrows furrowing in confusion. “Woah, is this an intervention?” He looked at Satya, who shook her head.

“Why, are you doing something that might call for one?” She accused. He was taken aback.

“Of course not! I just thought-”

“Shut up,” Amélie snapped, and they did. She pointed to the bit of pond that was mostly covered by reeds and tall grass. “There,” McCree looked, but couldn’t see anything of importance. By the looks on everyone's face, neither could they. Amélie rolled her eyes and walked forward, beckoning the rest of them.

The walked to the patch of tall grass, pushing it to the side. There, lying on an inflatable pool toy, naked, save for a cherry red speedo, was Torbjörn. For a second, the world was completely still and quiet. It was only broken by Jamison’s loud cry of frustration.

“Really!? Again?” He shouted, scaring off the ducks but not waking the sleeping Swede.

“It must be the second Friday of the month,” Satya said, checking her watch. Roadhog had picked up a long reed and began prodding at Torbjörn, who stirred a bit but did not wake.

“Don’t bother, I’ve been trying to wake him for hours,” Amélie said. “One of you will have to drag him out of the water,” She said.

The group all looked back and forth at one another. Amélie noticed the tension.

“What’s wrong?” She asked, alert.

“Uh, Amélie, I don’t know if you noticed, but we all got parts that we can’t exactly get wet,” McCree said, holding up his cybernetic hand. Satya held up hers as well.

“Hell, I even got a dummy leg,” Jamison said, sticking out his peg leg as proof. Amélie sputtered.

“But you work in the pond all the time!” She cried.

“Yeah, but I bring my waterproof parts. Their at home, broken for now,” He let out a short laugh. “Funny, I was gonna bring ‘em by Torbjörn’s today, actually. Guess I can just ask now. After you get him out,” Amélie shook her head.

“What about Roadhog?!” She asked desperately. Roadhog grunted once.

“He’s our chef, he ain’t getting into the lake,” McCree said. “The water’s three feet, just take of your shoes,” Amélie looked ready to tear his head off, but instead, roughly threw off her expensive pumps. Her pencil skirt reached her knees, but it was soaked as she waded out into the pond. Her face was twisted with disgust.

“ Amélie, maybe this is good for ya, I’ve never seen you so emotional,” McCree said. She shot him a dirty look, mouth in a snarl.

“Do not kid with me, McCree. I will drown you and your prosthetic,” She stretched out, grabbing for the edge of the rubber raft. She tapped it, and it floated out a foot further. The group on the shore awed in disappointment. 

“It’s getting too far out,” Satya noted. “She might have to swim for for him soon”

“She’s pissed,” Roadhog said. 

“You can take her place, if ya want. I was just savin’ your tail, but by all means,” McCree gestured to Amélie, who was swearing loudly in French.

“Fuck no,” He grunted. Amélie splashed around, making the raft float out further. She yelled again.

“Careful now, dear. Yer gonna scare the ducks,” McCree called out.

“As amusing as this is, aren’t we forgetting something?” Satya said.

“What’s that?” McCree replied, wincing when Amélie stumbled and nearly submerged herself in water.

“If we’re all here, then who’s running the Inn?” They all looked between each other, and out the Amélie.

“Well, I should stay out here, as the maintenance guy,” Jamison said, nodding.

“I don’t have to begin cooking for half an hour,” Roadhog said. 

“I want to see how well this turns out for Amélie,” Satya admitted. They all side-eyed McCree.

“Aw, hell no. I’m not going back just so y’all can watch this mess,” McCree said, shaking his head.

“Sorry mate, but you’re the bossman here,” Jamison shrugged. Roadhog nodded along. “You gotta pick up for our slack. Them the brakes,”

“Eat shit, Fawkes,” McCree grumbled. He gave one last look at Amélie splashing pond water on Torbjörn, most likely to try to wake him up, before stomping once and stalking away.

“Ya really know how to sweet talk a guy!” Jamison called, letting out a maniacal giggle.

McCree walked back along the patio, in the back door, and through the Inn, back to the front desk. Of course, nobody was there, because he couldn’t even have had the comfort of a fire or flood to justify his sacrifice. Instead, the Blackwatch Inn was lovely and pleasant and boring, which is probably what made Martha Stewart give them raving reviews. The floral patterned stuffed chairs and antique bookshelves were free of dust, and the warm chestnut floor had not a spot on them. He nearly cried of joy when his phone rang. He recognized the phone and grinned widely.

“San Francisco Catholic Church. You want the Father, the Son, or the Holy Ghost?” He greeted.

“Hey dad,” Hana greeted. McCree pulled away and checked the caller ID. Sure enough, it read ‘The Other Woman.’

“Uh, hey darlin’. Whatcha doin’ calling from the diner phone?”

“Listen,” Hana’s voice was gone and two voices screaming came into focus. One he recognized as Hanzo, seeing as he yelled at anything that moved. The other he realized was Genji. Genji, who had visited hospitals to show other patients living with scars and fake limbs weren’t so bad. Genji, who braked for birds, just in case they didn’t fly away quick enough. Genji, whose hair was dyed bright green to promote Lúcio’s DJing career, which has since faded to mint. They were arguing in Japanese, so McCree had no clue what they were saying. The sound faded as Hana returned.

“Jesus, how long has this been goin’ on?” He asked, scrubbing his face.

“Fifteen minutes. Most of the customers paid and left, except for Bastion and Reyes. I don’t think Bastion noticed, he’s doodling in his ornithology book, and Reyes is goding Genji to throw a punch,”

“He do it?”

“No, not yet. I think he’ll get a frying pan or something first. Like, if he’s going to do it, he’s going to end it, you know?” She said. Glass shattered in the background, and Hana winced. “Genji just throw a glass on the floor. Aw, it was the one with the uneven brim. I liked that one,”

“Alright, get Genji on the phone,” He said.

“No Hanzo?” She asked.

“No, he’ll just hang up,”

 

“Good point. I think I’ll just do that thing where I make eye contact for a really long time,”

“Reyes will already be doing that,” McCree pointed out.

“Yeah, but Hanzo won’t hit me. I’m going to get Genji, wait,” For a second all he heard were the faint sounds of family. After Hana’s attempts to get their attention, she said something he couldn’t make out, and then there was silence. A second later, Genji picked up the phone.

“Hello?” He asked, voiced still irritated.

“Genji, kid, what’s going on?” He asked, as if he were talking about a baseball game. Genji sighed impatiently.

“Hanzo is freaking out over something that happened at school, and blowing things out of proportion, and being a total asshole-” Another glass broken, more screaming in Japanese from Hanzo.

“Alright, kid. Take the phone into the store room, don’t let your brother follow you,” There was a pause, then, without explanation to the room, Genji left. McCree heard a door close before he started again. “So you wanna explain what happened?”

“I got into a fight with a teacher,” Genji started, calmer than before, but still audibly upset. “Not a physical fight, but an argument. I refused to say the flag salute, and he said I was disrespecting all the men who fought for this country, that I was committing an act of treason. I know that’s bullshit, because Reyes and Jack don’t agree with the flag salute, and they both-”

“The point, son. Find it,” McCree interrupted.

“Right. I was suspended for interrupting class and ‘threatening’ a teacher. The school called Hanzo, who picked me up, and he started yelling at me in the diner,” 

“Wow. Gotta say kid, kinda dissapointed. You didn’t even commit assault or arson,”

“Great, now two people are disappointed in me,”

“Hey, let’s let Hanzo be the dramatic Shimada for the day, alright? I’m guessing you didn’t get a solid talking too, so here we go,” McCree sighed. “You shouldn’t have yelled at that teacher. Even if he’s an asshole, he’s still underpaid and overworked. But you're not wrong for refusing to say the flag salute or standing up for yourself. Of all your problems at school, this isn’t one of them,” He was using his ‘dad’ voice that was usually reserved for when Hana was up at three in the morning studying for finals.

“Thank you, I appreciate someone having faith in me, for once,” 

“Kid, we both know Hanzo loves you. Granted, he’s not the best at showing affection, or interpreting his own emotions, or keeping cool,”

“Don’t I know it,” Genji scoffed.

“But damn it, he wants to be a good guardian, and he’s trying. Hell, I’ll make sure he is,”

“It’s not your job to make Hanzo empathize with people,” Genji said bitterly.

“No, it ain’t,” McCree admitted. “But I want you two to be good. The way you're living… it ain’t healthy,” Genji was quiet for a few moments. McCree checked to make sure he didn’t hang up.

“It’s been like this ever since our father died. I thought, after I got hurt, he would change, and we’d get better. But all we got was two sets of synthetic legs, a set of arms and these fucking scars,” McCree didn’t know what to say to that. He had never asked about Genji’s condition or Hanzo’s legs, and no one in town seemed eager to tell. He had met Genji when he was much younger, maybe 8, and Hanzo was 23. He had opened the diner the year before and didn’t have much time to socialize. At the time, he and Hana were still adjusting to one another, and Genji still lived with his parents in Japan, so they didn’t interact much. Then he and Hana took their emergency extended vacation, and when they returned to Stars Hollow, Hanzo had lost his legs and most of his friendliness. They didn’t ask, he didn’t tell, and everyone avoided the topic. In fact, this was probably the only time Genji mentioned it to him directly.

“Genji,” McCree drawled out. “We can’t deal with this all on the phone. Here’s what your gonna do; Go out, get your backpack, and go to my house with Hana. Just to cool down. And everything Hanzo said back there was garbage, yer fine. We’re not disappointed in you Got it?” There was a silent moment. “I can’t hear you nod,”

“Oh, sorry. Yes, I’ll do that. Thank you,” Genji said.

“Now go out and give the phone to your brother,”

It was quiet again, save for the sound of Genji moving around and the opening and closing of the door. McCree heard Genji say something. He waited for a greeting, but instead heard a click and the line was dead. Hanzo got the phone. McCree shook his head and dialed back. He was surprised he actually picked up.

“I have work,” Hanzo grunted, still clearly agitated.

“Don’t we all? Welcome to capitalist America, babe,” McCree greeted.

“I don’t have time for this,” Hanzo said.

“Well, it sounded like you and Genji had time to act out what I imagine the Kennedy’s Christmas looks like,”

“I don’t get your American pop culture references,” Hanzo sighed, defeated. 

“I know, honey. It’s just in case anyone is listening in,” McCree said. “Genji said he got suspended for arguing with a teacher?”

 

“He was suspended for threatening a teacher. He shows no respect or discipline for anyone, apparently! He acts irrationally, and with no thought for consequences,” Hanzo said, heating up again.

“Sweets, we both know Genji didn’t threaten that teacher. Did he explain what happened to you?”

“I can’t believe a word out of his mouth,” Hanzo spat. “He should have kept his temper in check,”

“He’s not the only one,” McCree said.

“Jesse…” Hanzo warned.

“No, Hanzo. You can’t just keep blowing up at him like this. Sure, the kid needs to learn some discipline, but you need to be trying too,” Hanzo kept silent. “You need to figure out your own problems, before he moves out and never looks back” He paused, waiting for Hanzo to say something. He didn’t. “Genji and Hana are at my house. I get off in an hour. I’ll call the school and see if I can win them over with my Southern Charm, then I’ll swing by the diner, okay?” 

“That sounds… fine,” Hanzo answered. They were both quiet. They were in a weird spot in their relationship. On one hand, they had known each other for ages, and this is what he would have done before they were together. On the other hand, they had only been officially together for about a month, so it might also be overstepping. But McCree trusted that Hanzo would voice any discomfort, considering complaining was what most of their conversations were about.

“Can I tell you something?” McCree asked.

“I have the intuition you will regardless,” Hanzo replied.

“It’s the second Friday of the Month,” He said. 

“Yes, it is,”

“Torbjörn went on another bender,” He said.

“Oh God,” Hanzo said. “Where did he end up?”

“In the pond, on a raft. Amélie has to fish him out,” He explained, leaning over the front desk. 

“I can’t imagine she’s too happy about that, is she?” Hanzo asked, voice lightening up.

“Well-”

At that moment, Torbjörn himself ran into the room, soaking wet and eyes wild. He slipped on the corner of the rug and tumbled to the floor, taking a hallway table with him. He slid, making the wooden floors slippery with pond water. McCree leaned over the desk to ask if he needed help or a towel, but Torbjörn immediately jumped up. He had considerable mobility and flexibility for a man of his age, and only having one eye didn’t seem to hinder his scramble to the front door. He turned quickly back, then dashed out the door, slamming it behind him.

As the door shut, Amélie stormed into the lobby, soaked from head to toe, looking like a pissed off cat. Her shoulders were hunched and eyes deadly serious, and in one hand held a dirty shovel. She stomped over to the door and walked out, slamming it behind her. Trailing her was Roadhog, who seemed to be the only person in the Inn who knew how to properly close a door. Outside, Torbjörn yelled. There was a grunt, a crash, and the sound of metal clattering to concrete. Then, Roadhog returned, carrying Amélie fireman style under his arm. She was noticeably absent of a shovel, and her face was less pissed. Roadhog carried her to the back. After they left, Torbjörn came back, with a bent shovel, bloody lip, and freshly swollen eye. He limped over and set the shovel delicately back on the front desk.

“Sorry about that. Here ya go,” He grunted. He left, and the Inn was noticeably still and quiet. If not for the shovel and wet floors, this might have been a fever dream. McCree’s arm had fell a little, so Hanzo’s voice was barely audible.

“McCree? Jesse? Hello?” He asked. McCree shook his head, snapping back into reality.

“Yeah, she was mad,” He said slowly. “I have to go write some pink slips. You’ll be alright for now?”  
“Yes,” Hanzo replied, sounding a bit confused. “I will see you soon,” 

“Can hardly wait. Bye babe,” McCree hung up. He weighed his options; Call the school first or deal with his employees first? He remembered Amélie’s face, and picked the safer option. He dialed the number that was still saved in his phone.

“Howdy, Stars Hollow High? It’s Jesse McCree, Hana Song’s guardian. Not sure if y’all remember me down there… You do? Well, I’m truly honored. Listen, I gotta problem, and this time, it’s not about bake sale food poisoning…”

\---

“Alright, man of the year walkin’ in!” McCree shouted as he barged through his own front door, Hanzo trailing behind him, apparently not as excited as McCree was. Hanzo’s hands were full of take-out bags from his diner, giving McCree the mobility to throw his keys and wallet somewhere behind the couch. 

“Do you wear you not remove your shoes inside your house?” Hanzo asked, slipping off his own by the door.

“Oh, fuck no. I don’t know what’s been on my floor. We don’t mop,” McCree said.

“We’re in here,” Called Genji from the kitchen. The pair walked in to find Genji and Hana sitting at the table, which was covered in papers, books, pencils, and post-its. Hana didn’t even look up; She was too wrapped up in re-copying a set of notes into a new notebook with multi-colored pens. A small crease formed in her brow.

“She’s been like this for an hour,” Genji said, voice tinged with worry. 

“She likes to organize her notes again,” He said, realizing Genji probably hasn’t seen Hana in ‘work’ mode; a deep, concentrated state reserved for when she had school work or was gaming. The difference was, when it was school work, she was fueled by anxiety rather than competitiveness. He shook her shoulder. “Hana, we got dinner, we need the table,”

“Can I finish this?” She asked, not breaking her writing.

“I’ll help you finish in the morning. Your handwriting will be better after a break,” Hana paused, but still didn’t look up. She got up and started gathering her papers and books. McCree knew better than to touch any of her papers, in case he messed up her ‘system.’ He noticed Hanzo and Genji’s discomfort with both the scene and each other.

“Aw, Genji, c’mon,” He said, looking down. “You too? You can leave your shoes on,”

 

“It’s impolite,” He defended himself.

“If you step on a rusty nail and get tetanus, who’s gonna get blamed? That’s right, me,” McCree said.

“It’s house, not a construction site,” Said Hanzo, setting the food at the now vacated table. Hana picked up her stack of books.

“I’m going to put these away real quick,” She said, walking through her room, which was directly connected to the kitchen.

“Change out of your uniform, too. Navy plaid reminds me too much of 2005. I can’t go through that again,” Hana didn’t respond, but closed her door. McCree saw Hanzo reach for the plates above the stove.

“Are you gonna clean those after?” McCree said, sitting down in Hana’s now vacated seat. “We can eat out of the containers,” Hanzo rolled his eyes and put the plates back. He then went for the silverware drawer. “We got plastic in the cupboard,” He said quickly. Hanzo slammed the drawer and went for the cupboard, pulling out the box of plastic utensils and throwing them at McCree.

“You disappoint me,” Hanzo said, sitting down in the seat next to McCree, across from Genji.

“The box says they’re fancy,” McCree said. Hana came out of her room in her sweats, sitting in the last available seat in the square table. 

“Dad only buys the best for our household,” She said, digging into one of the bags. “He skims on stuff like health insurance and the gas bill so we can dine with only the finest silverware,” She was completely out of her ‘work’ mode now, perfectly content with ridiculing her father.

“Why don’t you shut up and enjoy this home cooked meal,” McCree replied, pulling out his box of chili fries. 

“You got this from the diner,” She said, pulling out her own cheeseburger.

“Hanzo lives above the diner, and he’s eating it with us. What more could a home cooked meal entail?”

“Hana, when was the last time he fed you a vegetable?” Hanzo asked, digging into his own salad.

“Well, there’s tomato and lettuce in a BLT,” She answered, grinning. Hanzo scowled and glared at McCree, who winked.

“Why do I do this to myself?” Asked Hanzo.

“Because I have a four seater table, and you and Genji help us fill it up. So, none of you asked why I am the greatest man in the world,” McCree started.

“I thought that’s just how you entered a room,” Genji said. McCree frowned, but appreciated the kid loosening up.

“I have every right too, but no. I’m the greatest man in the world because I called your school, and got them to change your suspension to two weeks detention,” Genji smiled, exhaling a breath dramatically.

“Thank you, Mr. McCree. I appreciate it very much,” He said, nodding.

“Now you can stay on track to graduate,” Hanzo said sternly. “And won’t have to stay around the diner for a week,”

“Brother, I don’t know what I would do without you to always find the bright side,” Genji deadpanned. He turned to McCree. “He’s like an everlasting ray of sunshine, I don’t know how you stand it,”

“I manage pretty well,” McCree said, not mentioning how Hanzo’s ankle had been hooked around his own since he sat down. “Just watch kid, when your here tomorrow, you're gonna miss him. I’m gonna have to drive you home at midnight, crying about how much you miss your big brother,” Genji and Hanzo both scowled at McCree.

“Hey, isn’t Fareeha’s thing tomorrow?” Hana asked. “Aren’t you going to that?”

“Naw, I’m staying here with you kids,” McCree said.

“I will be,” Hanzo replied.

“Aw, dad, I don’t want you to miss out on that for us,” Hana pouted. McCree scoffed.

“Kids, the 90’s ruined my alcohol tolerance. It takes more than what any of these respectable, white collared citizens are drinkin’ too even get me buzzed. Beside’s, Lúcio would kill me if I deprived him of a Reinhardt approved night out,” 

“True,” Hana took a bite of her food. “I narrowed down the movies to The Purge 2, Roman Holiday, No Strings Attached,, Dope, The Lovely Bones and Oldboy,”

“We could get through maybe three, four is pushing it,” McCree turned to Genji. “What do you think?”

“Uh, well,” Genji said, thinking. “I’ve never seen the first Purge movie,”

“Yeah, lucky you,” Hana laughed.

“I haven’t seen the Rome one,”Genji said.

“Oh, then we can’t watch it,” Hana said, disappointed.

“But I haven’t seen it,” Genji replied.

“Yes, but the point of watching an Audrey Hepburn movie with people is too talk about which parts we love. If you haven’t seen it, then what’s the point?” Hana asked.

“I ain’t watching No Strings Attached with a bunch of kids,” McCree said.

“Ugh, fine, old man. That leaves Captain America, The Lovely Bones, Dope, and Oldboy,” She turned to Genji. “Can I cry in front of you?”

“What do you mean?”

“If I started sobbing in front of you, what would you do? How would you react? Like, uncontrollable weeping,” She asked, staring him dead in the eyes.

“I-I’m not sure,” He said, eyes darting to the side. Hana narrowed her eyes, before turning to McCree.

“The Lovely Bones is out,”

“Dope is a good pick, but I’m not sure about Oldboy,” McCree said. Hana grinned.

“No, we have to watch Oldboy,” She said, looking at Genji. “Have you seen it?”

“No, why? Should I have?” He asked. Hana shook her head.

“No, not at all. I love showing people Oldboy,”

“It’s because her mother was a jackal,” McCree whispered to Hanzo. Hanzo cocked his head to the side.

“I don’t understand,” He said, not even as a question. McCree rolled his eyes.

“Hey, Han? We’re watching The Omen the next time Hanzo’s over,” She clapped her hands together.

“Oh, I love that movie! We could watch it right now!” She looked hopefully at McCree, who shrugged and looked at Hanzo.

“Wanna stay for a movie?” Hanzo chewed and looked thoughtful, without changing much expression to begin with. McCree probably went as red as tomato, however, because Hanzo did run his ankle up McCree’s leg, stroking it back and forth. Then Hanzo smirked a bit.

 

“I would love too,” He said, removing his ankle and picking up the trash from the table. Hana whooped and jumped up, running to the living room, Genji trailing behind her. McCree sat for a while, processing what had happened. Hanzo being randomly and unpromptedly affectionate was rare. Sure he reciprocated a lot, but he hardly ever initiated anything. McCree snapped out of it when Hanzo ran his fingers over the nape of his partners neck on his way to the living room, McCree jumping up to join him.

Of course, this all backfired around half an hour later.

McCree pressed his luck even further by laying his head in Hanzo’s lap when they sat on the dingy couch. The kids sat on pillows on the living room floor, leaving McCree room to stretch out his legs on the worn beige upholstery. And, as if God herself had shone down on him, Hanzo didn’t push McCree off the couch. Instead, he started playing with McCree’s hair, running his long finger over his scalp, tugging at the strands, scratching at the sensitive spots behind his head. Hanzo was more engrossed, however, in the movie, never even looking down at McCree. McCree himself probably looked at the screen a grand total of twice, instead dividing his attention towards staring at Hanzo and dozing off. 

So, when the scene came where the Nanny jumps off the roof with the noose around her neck, McCree wasn’t prepared for Hanzo starting, yanking a fist full of McCree’s hair. McCree, feeling as though Hanzo kept some of those hairs, jumped and fell of the couch, hitting the coffee table on his way down. 

He felt a searing pain on his knee, which wasn’t the same as the usual searing pain he got from activities such as waking up in the morning or walking. At the same time, he felt his head sting from where there were a least a chunk of hair missing. He stayed on the floor, prompting Hana to react.

“Oh shit! Dad, are you okay?” She asked, pausing the movie and turning on the lights. McCree stayed on the floor, hugging his knee.

“This is it. I’m done. Somebody call an undertaker, I’m outta here,” He grumbled. Hanzo sighed.

“He’s fine,” Hanzo said.

“Funny, I can actually hear you rolling your eyes,” McCree mumbled. He pushed himself off the floor, knee still throbbing. Hanzo’s face was free of any concern. 

“You’re fine,” He enunciated. McCree felt the back of his head.

“I don’t feel the bald spot,” He said. Hanzo’s shoulders dropped a bit.

“Stop it, McCree,”

“Must be one of those delayed bald spots,”

“McCree,”

“Oh, lord. I’m gonna have to lose a leg now too,”

“Stop,”

“I paid an arm and a leg. It actually happened. I guess if it would happen to anyone, it’d be me,”

“We’re leaving,” Hanzo said, going toward the door.

“Aw, babe. Don’t feel bad. I’d happily lose another leg for you,” McCree said, as Hanzo put his shoes back on. Genji picked up his backpack, looking forlorned at leaving. Hana noticed.

“Aw, dad. Can we keep him?” She pouted. Genji pouted. Hanzo scowled.

“Where would he sleep?” He asked.

“We could put a bed in the laundry room,” She suggested. Genji smiled widely and nodded enthusiastically.

“But where would we put Jamison when he fights with Satya and Roadhog?”

“Genji could sleep in the living room!” Hana said. 

“Are you kidding me? The smell would never leave the couch,” Hanzo opened the door, standing in the frame. McCree grabbed Genji’s shoulders, steering him out the door. “No, this one’s gonna have to stay at the pound. Maybe for your birthday,” McCree gave Genji a quick kiss on the cheek, before letting go. Genji laughed and rubbed the spot.

“Dad, stop kissing all my friends,” Hana whined. McCree pouted at her.

“Just one more?” He asked. She sighed and shrugged exaggeratingly.

“I guess…” McCree punched the air and turned around to Hanzo, who raised his eyebrows.

McCree quickly placed his hands under Hanzo’s chin and on his neck, then ducked his head and pressed his lips firmly to his. Hanzo immediately reciprocated, albeit not as eagerly. McCree felt Hanzo smile, making his smile. It only lasted a second or two, before McCree pulled away.

“Get some rest, you got a wild night tomorrow,” McCree said, dropping his hands. Hanzo cocked an eyebrow.

“I’m sure the security official will have a tame enough evening planned,” Hanzo said. He walked down the steps, giving a little wave to Hana and McCree. Genji followed, waving back more enthusiastically.

“They are going to tear each other apart when they get home,” Hana whispered as the Shimada’s got into Hanzo’s car.

“Best case scenario is they live in painful silence for the night,”McCree admitted, watching them drive off.

“We didn’t even get to the end of the movie,” Hana said. “You just had to ruin it,” She walked back into the house.

“Sorry! Next time I’ll just make sure the fall kills me!” He shouted, following her.

“About time! I’m tired of taking one for the team around here. You need to start pulling your own weight,”

“My own weight!? What do you mean my own weight, huh!?”

“I mean my back is going to give out if I have to keep carrying this fucking family all the damn time!”

When they explained the situation to the police later, when one of the neighbors filed a noise complaint, it wasn’t as funny.  
\---  
Now, sure McCree was afraid of Fareeha, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t a gentleman. So, the next day, he and Hana were at her front door, bundt cake in hand.

“We should have baked it earlier,” Hana complained as he rang the doorbell.

“It wouldn’t have been fresh,” He responded, staring at the intricate design of the colorful stained glass window on the door. It looked like sunlight or ribbons.

“Lúcio and Genji will be here soon,”

“Which means Reinhardt and Hanzo aren’t out of the house yet, so Fareeha is still home,” In truth, McCree wanted to see who was actually going out. He knew Zarya and Mei wouldn’t be out so late on a Saturday, with Sunday being the day most people went to the gym.The fact Reinhardt was going was shocking enough, seeing as he didn’t seem the drinking type. A bundt cake seemed the only appropriate way to get intel.

A moment later, Fareeha herself opened the door, and damn, another time life reminded McCree what a difference two inches makes. She was taller, stronger, and more serious than McCree ever could be or should be, and he was quiet for a moment. Her Eye of Horus tattoo moved as she narrowed her eyes at him.

“Uh, here’s a bundt cake,” He said lamely, holding out the tupperware with cake. She didn’t even look down at the cake, just took it in her hands and smiled at McCree, almost laughing.

“Hello to you too, McCree,” She said. Hana surged forward and hugged Fareeha around her middle.

“Happy birthday!” She said, as Fareeha balanced the cake in one hand. Fareeha smiled kindly and laughed.

“Hello Hana. Thank you,” Hana released her. “Thank you both for the cake. Mercy just left for the hospital, but you are welcome to come in,” Hana was already walking through before McCree could come up with some lame ass excuse, so he followed her. 

The Fareeha-Ziegler household was… clean. Not sterile, not white, but clean. It was lived in, but in the way an Ikea was lived in. Everything had a strategic place that it was set in, but humans had missed some things up, like a stray pillow or a left out coffee mug. It was unsettling, yet comfortable, like a warm toilet seat. Not exactly the most romantic way to describe a friend’s home, but strangely fitting.

Fareeha set the cake on the table, next to a half eaten cupcake and balloons. She went and got out real plates and utensils, not even plastic. She handed one to both Hana and McCree. The things about Fareeha was she didn’t ask for things. She waited for people to object, to tell her no, but rarely was her instinct ever wrong. And damn it, McCree had baked this cake from scratch and deserved a piece. She cut up the pieces and handed them out. Of course, it was delicious.

“So, Fareeha,” Started McCree, relaxing. “What are the plans for the night? Who’s in the gang?”

“To be honest, Angela arranged most of it. I’m not sure who is coming, just that we leave at 9. However, I know we will be be bar hopping,”

“Didn’t think that was your style,” He said. Fareeha smiled.

“Marriage and a real career certainly calm a person down. I’m excited for when you give it a try,” Fareeha said cooly. Hana coughed and nearly spit out her bundt cake. When Fareeha turned away from her, she grinned at him and dropped a long and silent F bomb.

“Don’t worry, Fareeha. This cowboy is gonna have to ride into the sunset sooner or later,” Fareeha laughed loudly and earnestly, to McCree’s surprise. He was going to question it, when the doorbell rang. Fareeha stood and left to answer, returning shortly with Reinhardt and Lúcio. Reinhardt had to hunch down to fit through the door, while Lúcio immediately ran over into the seat next to Hana. Reinhardt let out a booming laugh, hugging Fareeha tightly, slightly lifting her off the ground.

“Finally reaching our age! Happy Birthday!” He said. Fareeha smiled and patted his shoulder. McCree was sure that, if it were anyone else, their spine would have broken. Reinhardt let her down soon, and turned to McCree. “McCree! You're here as well! Hello!” H reached down to hug McCree, who stopped him.

“Woah there, Papa Smurf. As much as I‘d love a bear hug, I’m afraid I’ll drop the cake,” he held up his plate as proof, and Reinhardt backed off, laughing.

“Of course! What type of cake is that?” He asked.

“Bundt,” Hana replied.

“Is that a flavor or a shape?” Lúcio asked, cutting himself a piece.

“Yeah,” Hana said, chewing.

“McCree, does that cake have any preservatives or such?” Reinhardt asked, eyeing Lúcio’s piece. Lúcio rolled his eyes, dropping his fork.

“Don’t worry. Made it from scratch, all organic. Nearly grew the wheat myself,” Lúcio smiled and took a bite. Reinhardt nodded in approval. He looked around the kitchen, spotting the backdoor.

“Say, Little Amari. I heard you built a deck in the back, mind if I take a look?” 

“Not at all. Here, I’ll show you. McCree, let in anyone else who comes. Thank you,” She turned and opened the door for Reinhardt, who had to duck. “I used mahogany for most of it…”  
Their voices faded when they ventured out more.

“Dad, can you build us a deck?” Hana asked, taking another slice of cake.

“Remember when you first came to me, and I slept on the couch and you slept in my bed?” He asked. “I broke the bed I bought you trying’ to build it, and didn’t want to admit it. That’s why Reyes built your real one,” He admitted. Lúcio laughed, nearly spitting cake out.

“Why admit it now, all these years later?” She asked. McCree shrugged.

“You saw me cry during The Lovely Bones. Figure I don’t have much pride left anyhow,” The doorbell rang, but McCree didn’t get up. “Come in! It’s open!” He shouted, and it rang through the whole house. The door opened, and Genji and Hanzo entered the kitchen. Genji brightened up when he saw McCree, Hana, and Lúcio.

“McCree, this is not your house,” Hanzo lectured. McCree looked around. 

“Shit, not again,” He said. He shook his head. “Happens every once in awhile. It’s an old age thing. You know what I’m talkin’ about, right, Geezer?” He said, winking at Hanzo.

“I mean, you should not just shout at people to come into a house that isn’t yours,” The doorbell rang again, mid speech.

“Come in!” McCree shouted, and Hanzo pinched the bridge of his nose. Jack and Reyes walked in, Jack’s hand on Reyes arm.

“Afternoon too ya, Jack. Boss,” McCree grinned. “Wow, you two finally tie the knot?”

Hana gasped. “Are Grandpa and Grandad finally getting married?” She asked gleefully.

“Stop,” Jack pleaded, dropping his arm. “I have to get new contacts, and I can’t see without them,”

“And I keep telling him to get surgery so he can actually walk down the street, but no,” reyes complained. 

“If I wanted surgery, I’d get the surgery,” Jack grumbled. 

“Yeah, Gabriel,” McCree mocked.

“Is surgery even safe at your age?” Lúcio asked innocently.

“I’m the same age as Gabe,” Jack said.

“The difference is black don’t crack, vato,” Reyes mocked.

“Don’t talk to Granddad like that, he’s never been the same since ‘Nam,” Hana said.

“Where are the adults at?” Jack asked.

“Right here,” McCree said, gesturing to himself.

“The real adults,” Jack clarified.

“Oh, the one’s that pay property tax and have degrees? Yeah, their outside talkin’ about a deck or something,”

“Thanks,” Jack said, and turned to walk to the back, but immediately crashed into the kitchen counter, nearly taking down Angela’s decorative cat shaped cookie jar. Reyes doesn’t even stop to joke before rushing and steady Jack.

“Easy there, hombre. Let’s go to the yard,” He said, guiding Jack by the arm, who surprisingly was obedient.

“I don’t need a damn seeing eye dog,” He grumbled.

“I don’t need you to bitch about me doing you a favor,” Reyes said back, leading him out the door.

“They’re like a modern day Lucy and Ricky,” Hana said.

“A Hal and Louis,” McCree said. They both stared at Lúcio.

“Uh, Tim and Jill?” He offered.

“Who?” Hana asked.

“You know, from Home Improvement? Tim Allen? Yeah?” Hana shook her head.

“I’m glad my daughter knows you. You keep her pure,” McCree said. He leaned forward a bit. “Is it me, or does this seem like kinda a boring crowd?” He asked.

“You’re spending the night with teenagers,” Genji said.

“What I mean is, none of these seem like the type to really let loose. I was really hoping that things would go haywire,” McCree leaned back in his seat, while all the adults walked back in the house, laughing about some unfunny joke. He stood up when Hanzo approached the table.

“We’re about the leave. Are you sure you will be fine with the kids?” He asked. McCree smiled crookedly at him.

“Don’t worry ‘bout a thing, darlin’. I got it all under control,” McCree said, standing closer to Hanzo.

“Don’t kill my brother or his friends,” Hanzo scolded. McCree shrugged.

“I don’t know. Hana has been getting on my nerves lately…”

“Did any social worker hear that?” Hana said. Most people were wrapped up in their own conversations to notice.

“Call me if you get stuck?” McCree asked.

“You’ll be the first one I call,” Hanzo promised, cracking a smile. McCree grinned and gave him a quick kiss. They were broken up, however, when a large crash came, as someone nearly broke the door down letting themselves in.

A second later, Jamison Fawkes came stumbling into the kitchen, shirtless, 6 pack in hand. He had a crazy look in his eye, as he scanned the room.

“I heard that there’s gonna be some beer hopping tonight, yeah? Well, I’ve been fecked up for a few hours, so, who the feck is ready to go down with me!?” Jamison barely slurred his words. McCree nearly passed out from joy, while the rest of the room cringed.

“Fawkes, where the hell in Satya and Roadhog?” Reyes asked.

“Did you drive here?” Asked Fareeha.

“Psh,” Scoffed Jamison. “And get in bingle, even get a bluey? Nah, mate, grabbed some amber fluid at the bottle shop and caught an Uber down here, ready for the booze bus. The cook and chef are at home, called me a fruit loop for comin’ out. Couple a Figjam’s in ya ask me, but eh, whatcha gonna do,” He rattled off. The rom was quiet for a moment.

“It’s like I know he’s trying to communicate with us, but I can’t understand him,” Lúcio said.

“Have fun, honey,” McCree clamped down a hand on a distressed Hanzo’s shoulder, before herding the kids to his own house.

\---

“They don’t make a noise,”

“Yeah, they do,”

“They don’t have lungs,”

“Don’t need ‘em”

“I’ve never heard one,” Genji said, looking faintly worried as he ate his pizza.

“You ever hold one?” Hana asked. Genji shook his head.

“You don’t need to hold one, you just have to know what you’re looking for. When I lived in New Mexico, there were tarantulas all over the hills and desert, and all you could hear was their rattlin’,” McCree called from the kitchen. While he loved his daughter and friends, a teenage sleepover wasn’t high on his bucket list, so he resorted to eating out of boredom and answering emails. It was 1:30 in the morning, and none of the kids showed any signs of exhaustion.

“I don’t want to believe that,” Genji called back. 

“Live in ignorance. Go ahead. Not my problem,” McCree said. So far he had answered a few questions people had about the Inn and responded to an email from his abuela. This was far more productive than he planned to be that day, and planned on turning in early.

He was shutting down his computer and standing up when Genji walked into the kitchen, phone in hand, looking confused.

“Uh, McCree, I think we have to pick up Hanzo,” He said. McCree did a double take.

“What makes you say that?”

“He just called, and he... didn’t sound like my brother. He was slurring and laughing loudly,”

“Laughing? No, that can’t be Hanzo,” McCree was already reaching for his keys. “Any idea where they might be?” Genji shook his head.

“He mentioned Torbjörn, but I don’t think they went to his home or garage. Maybe he’s with him?” McCree had flashbacks to the day before; Amélie wet, Junkrat laughing his ass off, and the second friday of the month. He walked out the back door, nodding to Genji to follow him.

“I know where they are, let’s go,” He said, stepping out into the cold. He figured Hana wouldn’t mind their absence, and if she did, oh well. Luckily, it was a clear night, no chance of rain or snow. Hell, despite the chilly wind, it was down right pleasant. The full moon meant that McCree didn’t have to complain about not fixing the porch light yet. 

A short car ride consisting primarily of Genji changing the radio every two seconds and McCree trying not to snap at him, they were at the Inn. While Genji was sweet, McCree had overheard him brag of a few of his romantic and sexual exploits. Some sounded boring enough to be real, some were obviously seen in an American Pie movie.

“How are things at home?”Asked McCree, hoping Genji would stop fiddling with the damn stations. Genji shrugged.

“The same. He isn’t mad about the suspension anymore, although he did laugh when I fell down a step this morning,” Genji said, cringing at the memory. McCree guffawed.

“That’s siblinghood right there. Healthy and normal,” He said. Genji turned to McCree.

“Do you have any siblings?” Asked Genji, as if the thought never occurred to him.

“Well, one could say that Fareeha’s my sister,” McCree drawled out. Genji’s eyes widened.

“Really? I did not know that! You don’t look like her at all,” Genji said. McCree shook his head.

“I shouldn’t, given we ain’t blood. When Reyes picked me up and brought me here, he was mighty close to Ana Amari, Fareeha’s mom. I hung around her place a lot, that’s when me and Fareeha met. She was years younger than me, and I kinda become her big brother. When I came back to Star’s Hollow, she’s the one that helped me get situated. My little Fareeha had gotten married when she was still in her twenties to some hot shot doctor, talk about a culture shock,” McCree rambled. Genji nodded.

“I’ve never met Mrs. Amari’s mother,” Genji said.

“She started to traveled a lot after I left, so I’m told. Still does I reckon. I don’t know what she does for work, something with the Peace Corps. Fareeha used to think the world of her, but now she’s kinda in a weird spot. She loves her ma, but being left like that by yer only parent messes you up. She wasn’t alone; Reinhardt told me he became her official guardian when Ana was outta town, but she spent a lot of time with Reyes and Jack,” He laughed once. “Believe it or not, Jack and Reyes used to be the best of pals when I was here. This was before Reyes had the Inn and when Jack could see,”

 

“Really?” Asked Genji.

“Practically inseparable. They were army buddies, and Jack came back with Reyes. Reyes grew up with Ana here, and they were all hunky dory,”

“What happened?”

“Who knows,” McCree shrugged. “I was outta here. By the time I came back, Jack was nearly blind, Ana had booked it, and Reyes had a midlife crisis and bought an Inn, I guess,”

“Huh,” Genji said, sitting back in his seat, processing information. “Who is Fareeha’s father?”

“As far as I know, Ana had willed Fareeha into existence through pure maternity power. She was mighty popular in these parts, if they were even a local. Believe it or not, some people actually leave Star’s Hollow. A lot of people you know haven’t heard of Ana Amari either,”

“That is… unexpected. I hadn’t given much thought to Mrs. Amari,” Genji admitted.

“She was the cutest kid,” McCree smiled fondly, nostalgia hitting him like waves. “Always missing a tooth or sporting a bandage. Always laughing and joking. Shadowed me like a puppy whenever I went and did chores for Ana or Reyes. Don’t get me wrong,” He started. “I love Fareeha now, but she’s different. She’s...harder,”

“If you knew her, why are you afraid of her,” Genji asked. McCree shrugged.

“Maybe I’m just afraid of what happened. To find out what happened to that cute lil girly,” McCree was quiet for a moment. Nostalgia, sadness, discomfort were all hitting him in waves. He was too damn sober, hungry, and cold to deal with this right now. He turned to Genji. “Kid, it seems like every time I talk to you, it turns into a damn therapy session. What do teenagers like now in days? What’s going on?”

“Uh,” Genji thought for a moment. “I was offered marijuana for the first time,” He said quickly. McCree raised an eyebrow.

“Did you take it?” He asked. Genji shook his head.

“I told them my lungs can’t take it, but it smelt really bad,” He said. McCree laughed.

“Genji, kid, I would have beat you up in highschool,” Genji furrowed his eyebrows.

“Hanzo would have killed me for smoking,”

“That’s half the fun!” McCree said. “But you made the right choice. Drugs mess you up,”

“They had told us that in health class,” Genji nodded.

“What? No,” McCree said, shaking his head. “Most of that health warning stuff about weed is over exaggerated. Drugs just make you into a fucking loser,”

“What?” Genji asked.

“Yeah, kid,” McCree continued. “Once you do drugs, even just tokin’, you turn into a fucking loser. No motivation, no hobbies, no personalities. Look around; how many of those stoner kids can hold a conversation for more than 20 minutes and not bring up their drug use? Jesus, trust me, drugs kill your personality more than anything,” The rest of the car ride was quiet, Genji sorting through everything. 

They finally arrived at the Inn. McCree parked in his usual spot, and they both got out. They walked a few feet towards the Inn, before McCree held out a hand and stopped Genji.

“Wait, do you hear that?” He whispered. Genji listened for a second, but shook his head.

“No. What is it?” He asked.

“The tarantulas,” McCree whispered. He laughed when Genji shoved him lightly, and continued walking to the Inn. They walked to the front desk, where Bastion was happily doodling in a notebook. He never seemed to sleep in between the million jobs he held. It seems he’s worked for everyone at Stars Hollow at some point, including the night shift at the Inn.

“Hey, partner,” McCree greeted. Bation looked up and smiled, but didn’t respond. Not being one for words, it’s a wonder why guests raved about how welcoming and charming he was. “Listen, this might sound a bit out there, but did Fareeha’s party run through here?” He asked. To his surprise, Bastion nodded eagerly. He pointed to the back of the Inn. McCree raised his eyes. “They still here?” Bastion nodded again. “Thanks, kid,” McCree said, and started walking. Bastion continued doodling, while Genji followed McCree.

Through the kitchen, out the back door, over the patio and through the meadow, they arrived to the lake. It took their eyes a minute to adjust to the darkness, but luckily Satya and Jamison’s twinkle lights gave some illumination. Of course, as McCree expected, were Fareeha’s part group, splashing around the pond like children.

It took McCree a hot second to asses what exactly was happening. Jack and Reyes were leaning heavily on each other on the shore, laughing loudly, despite the absence of a joke. Jack was wearing Reyes hat and Reyes wore his red sunglasses. Jamison had his arms wrapped around Reinhardt's bicep, as he curled him as if he was a regular weight. Jamison seemed to be having the time of his life trying to stay on his bicep. And in the pond, in waist level water was Fareeha and Hanzo, laughing hysterically while splashing each other with water. 

“Sweet Mary Mother of Jesus,” McCree whispered. “This is like an episode of the Twilight Zone. They are so wasted,”

“I have never seen my brother like this,” Genji said quietly. “Even as a teenager he was so mature. His favourite television show was the morning news,”

“The last time I saw Reyes and Jack that close, Jack had him in a full nelson,” McCree said.

“I’ve never seen them smile when the other was not in pain,”

“This looks like the prom I skipped when I was in school,”

“Mr. Fawkes and Reinhardt… actually seem fine,” Genji said.

“Yeah, a little close, but not too bad,” McCree agreed. 

“Should we intervene?” Genji asked. McCree put an arm on him.

“Don’t you dare. This will probably be the highlight of my month. Let me have this, kid,” McCree said. Genji stayed in place, and they watched.

Fareeha and Hanzo were still fighting in the water, trying to tip one another over. The water must have been freezing, but neither noticed nor cared. Fareeha had height and muscle but Hanzo’s stoutness made him harder to topple. McCree found himself silently rooting for Fareeha. Though he wouldn’t admit it, he guessed Genji was too. Both of their hair was usually tidy and neat (Hanzo’s in a ponytail and Fareeha’s in a sleek bob), but now it was both down and mussy. Everyone’s face was flushed and shiny, everyone sloppy and stumbling. Jamison, along with his shirt, was missing the shoes on his still attached foot.

They were all so distracted, none of them noticed Genji or McCree. They knew they would have to stop them sometimes, before the guests at the Inn noticed or the sun came up, but it’s like seeing a dog drive a car. Sure, it was dangerous, but when the fuck will you ever get the opportunity to see it again?

Fifteen minutes later, Angela rushed over from the Inn. McCree turned to greet her.

“Oh dear, have they been here long?” She asked. She looked exhausted, still in her doctor's coat. Her face was lined with worry.

“Don’t know, we barely got here a second ago,” McCree lied, shooting Genji a look. He stayed quiet. “How’d you know they were here?”

“Bastion waited until my shift was over to text me,” She said, holding out her phone. Indeed, she had a text from Bastion, but all it was was the wine emoji, the beer emoji, a water drop emoji, a bird emoji, and a party popper emoji. Even with her PhD, McCree didn’t know how they hell she deciphered it, but didn’t ask.

Before they could talk, they heard a loud splash from the pond. Fareeha had successfully toppled Hanzo, who was struggling to right himself. She cheered and turned towards the shore, arms in the air, before spotting Angela. She broke into a giant grin and ran over, sloshing water and stumbling as she went.

“My wife is here! Look, it’s my wife!” She called, and all the drunks turned to look. They all cheered, except for Hanzo, who was still making his way out of the pond. Fareeha ran to Angela and picked her up by the waist, holding her tightly. She was still soaking wet, but Angela relaxed a bit and laughed.

“Yes, I’m glad to see you too, dear,” She said, but Fareeha didn’t put her down. She nuzzled into her neck, grinning.

“You’re here! I was sad that you weren’t going to be here for this, but it was fun! We had fun! The little Junker is so funny!” She said, quieter than before. Angela patted her back, furrowing her eyebrows and smiling. “I didn’t want to do this without you, because I love you so much, but you’re here!” 

“I love you, too. But can you please put me down?” Fareeha immediately put her on the ground, but didn’t let her go. Instead, she wrapped her arms around her and held her sideways, resting her head on her shoulders.

“You’re so beautiful and amazing and I don’t care what my mother says, I’m going to be at your side forever, even after that. I’m sorry I was mad about the towels on the bathroom floor because your more important than grout and I want to wake up to you every morning, my angel…” At this point, Fareeha had started mumbling so McCree couldn’t hear, but Angela was already beet red. 

“Ah, I should take her home now. Probably Gabriel and Jack as well,” She walked over to them, Fareeha trailing behind her. McCree turned to Genji, but, before he could speak, the teen was slammed into by Hanzo, who nearly knocked him over. He was still soaking wet, red in the face, and nearly falling over.

“Brother! You came for me. I didn’t think you would,” Hanzo said, hugging his brother tightly. Genji looked like he was having his spine broken in half, but he coughed out a laugh.

“Of course I would come, brother. You called me,” Genji wheezed out. Hanzo dropped him, and grabbed his shoulders, trying to focus. McCree guessed he was probably seeing a few of Genji right now.

“I am an awful brother. We fight so much, and it’s my fault. You don’t deserve that, brother. You were so handsome before, and because of me- I hurt you, and I am awful to you-” Hanzo started rambling and speaking in what McCree assumed was Japanese. Genji looked startlingly confused and stiff as a board at his drunk brother.

“Uh, it’s okay brother,” He started, patting Hanzo on the shoulder. “I forgive you, for, uh, everything. Please don’t cry,” Hanzo didn’t stop rambling, instead just hugged his brother. McCree turned away, feeling like he should wrap things up.

“Reinhardt!” He called, getting the old man’s attention. “You need a ride?”

“Ha!” He laughed, setting Jamison down. “I’m barely tipsy! These folk are light weights. I’ll walk Jamie home, then myself!” He said. Judging by his posture, he was telling the truth, so McCree flashed him a thumbs up. Hanzo was still clinging to his brother, and Genji looked incredibly uncomfortable. Hanzo was not the most openly affectionate person, and he had probably never hugged Genji this much or gave much words of affirmation. Genji looked at McCree pleadingly.

“Alright, partner, let’s go. You’re done for the night,” McCree said. He hit the back of Hanzo’s knee with one arm and held his back with the other. Hanzo immediately wrapped his arms around McCree’s neck, who had previously never thought he’d get Hanzo into a bridal carry. He was still mumbling, but now rubbed his face into McCree’s chest.

“What’s he sayin’?” He asked Genji as they walked over to the car.

“I have no clue. He’s not speaking Japanese, he’s just spouting nonsense,” Genji said, getting into the passenger seat while McCree put Hanzo in the back. He spotted Angela herding Reyes and Jack into her own minivan, even though they were both already half asleep.

McCree started the car and began the drive home. Luckily, he didn’t have to deal with Genji messing with the radio, since Hanzo was enough of a distraction. He leaned in the space between the front seat and driver’s seat. 

“Jessie, I promised I’d call you first if I needed to,” He said in realization. McCree could still smell the alcohol on his breath.

“It’s fine, we got you, that's what matters,” McCree said. 

“I promised you,” Hanzo said, pouting. 

“You can call me first next time,” Hanzo leaned over and nuzzled his face into McCree’s neck, planting a kiss. McCree shivered, but tried to focus on the road. “Listen, babe, I need to focus on the road right now. Can you sit back and put a seat belt on?”

Hanzo kissed McCree’s neck again, smiling as he did so. He dropped back, giggling, and buckled himself up. McCree saw his eyelids droop in the back mirror. He started muttering again, but McCree couldn’t understand it.

“He speakin’ gibberish again?” He asked Genji, who stared intently out the window.

“Uh, no. This is Japanese. I, uh, just don’t feel comfortable translating,” His face turned red and McCree nodded, trying not to focus on what was happening in the car and focused on the road. If he held a ‘Worst time to get a boner’ competition, this would place in the top 30, maybe.

The roads and sky were both still clear, thankfully, so he had no problem pulling into the 7/11 parking lot. They were halfway between Stars Hollow and Hartford, the most populated city in the County, so this was the only place open. He unbuckled his seatbelt and turned to Genji.

“I’ll be right back. Make sure he stays in the car,” He told Genji, who nodded. He looked back at Hanzo, who grinned lazily at him. He nodded and jumped out of the car. 

The 7/11 was brighter then he would have liked, so he quickly grabbed the aspirin, ginger ale, and paper towels. He threw them on the counter, where a bored teenager raised his eyebrows.

“Wild night?” He asked, scanning the items. He was comically monotone.

“I wish,” McCree mumbled, swiping his card. The cashier nodded knowingly.

“Ah, babysitting. Have fun, bro,” The cashier winked, so McCree gave him a finger gun and walked out, bag in hand. 

He got back into the car, and tossed the bag to Genji. He rifled inside it, and brought out the paper towels.

“What are these for?” He asked.

“If he throws up, your cleanin’ it,” Genji’s faced wrinkled in disgust. McCree looked back and found Hanzo sound asleep, face pressed against the window. He wished he brought his phone, this being another missed photo opportunity. He pulled out of the parking lot, and drove down the road. The detour to the 7/11 gave them an extra 20 minute drive. They sat in silence for a while, before McCree’s burning curiosity and weariness got the best of him.

“Kid, since we’re sharing Nicholas Spark’s books in here, I’ve gotta ask,” He started, getting Genji’s attention. “What happened between you two?” Genji snorted.

“I’m surprised he didn’t tell you already,” He said, still staring out the window.

“Yeah, well, he’s not as open with me as you’d think,” McCree grumbled, feeling a twist in his gut as he admitted it out loud. It was unsurprising how closed off Hanzo was to everyone, but McCree was hoping for a more significant change as they became closer. No such luck, seeing as he had to confront Hanzo about every problem and ill emotion, rather than Hanzo coming to him.

“Really? He’s much more open to you than anyone else,” Genji said, almost bitterly. McCree raised an eyebrow and side glanced him.

“You don’t have to answer if you don’t wanna,” He told him. Genji was silent for a few more moments.

“My brother and I have always been… distant,” He started. “He came to live in America permanently when I was 5, although I visited often. He took over our father’s store and made the diner, and I lived with father in Hanamura. My brother was always more… serious then I was. I got into a lot of trouble in Japan, I was what you would call a ‘little shit,’” He gave a single laugh at his joke, staring unfocused out the windshield.

“When we were together, we fought. He would say I was disappointing our parents and family, that I needed to get a grip. I said he was projecting his insecurities on me. Maybe we were both right, maybe we were both wrong. It doesn’t matter. When I was 15, our father died, and Hanzo returned to Hanamura to settle things. It was a bad time for both of us. We were both so angry and lost. 

“One night, we got into a fight in our family home. I tried to sneak off to a party, and Hanzo caught me. He said I was disrespecting our father, and I should stay home. I’m ashamed to admit I said some horrible things to my brother. Things I’d rather not repeat. He ended up locking me in my room for the night. We were both so angry, we forgot about dinner cooking, and then the fire started…” Genji paused for a moment, and McCree let what he was hearing sink in. 

“He came back for me. But it was already too late. My room was above the kitchen, and it took too long to get up there. I’m not sure what happened after he took me. It hurt, a lot. The smoke made me tired, so I can’t recall much. I woke up in the hospital a few days later. All I felt was pain, and anger. I didn’t realize at the time, but Hanzo had lost his legs in the fire. Infection, I believe. We don’t talk about it. I moved in with him, after I was released. You weren’t here, when I came back,” He finally turned and looked at McCree. They were at a red light, so McCree looked back. Genji had a faint smile, he looked like he was about to cry. The red light made the scars on his face cast long shadows. “We were never fine, understand? But, when you came back, we got… better,”

“I’m not a saint,” He said, almost too quickly. “When Hana and I came back, it being my second time returning, we were in shambles. She was barely getting herself back on track, and I was learning how to take care of her. It took us 6 months of down time in New Mexica, seeing doctors and psychologists and counselors to learn how to live with her anxiety. We need y’all just as much as you needed us,” The light turned green, and McCree turned back to the road. There was a beat of silence, before McCree started talking again.

“Did you mean it?” He asked Genji.

“Mean what?” He said.

“When you said you forgave him,” McCree clarified. Genji thought for a moment.

“I don’t know,” He admitted. McCree turned onto their street.

“Do yourselves and me a favor,” He said, turning into their driveway. “Don’t say it unless you mean it,” Genji nodded. McCree turned off the car.

“I’m meeting with Zenyatta next week,” Genji said, after a few tense moments, when neither even so much as unbuckled their seatbelts. “He claims he could help me find peace,”

“Genji, you’re family now, so Imma tell you this,” McCree said, looking him dead in the eye. “If he sells you a tonic from the back of a covered wagon, he’s full of shit,” 

Genji stared confused for a second, before McCree cracked a smile. Genji laughed, grinning.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” He said. He looked out the window again, unbuckling his seat belt. “Than you, McCree. For everything,”

“Anything for family,” McCree said simply. He got out of the car, slamming the door. Hanzo woke up at that, blinking around confused until McCree opened his door. He leaned over to unbuckle his seatbelt, then helped him out of the car. Hanzo leaned heavily on him, swaying as they walked up to the house.

“He’s still pretty out of it, so Imma get him in bed,” McCree said, opening the front door. The lights were off, but the TV was still on, Lúcio and Hana passed out in front of it. Genji yawned and nodded.

“Goodnight, McCree. Brother,” He said, eyes drooping. He turned off the TV as McCree struggled to get Hanzo up the stairs. His footing was off, and it didn’t help he was still damp. He didn’t even want to think of the state of his back seat right now. Hanzo’s prosthetics didn’t help, but thankfully, they got up the stairs without Hanzo waking the kids.

When they got to McCree’s bedroom, Hanzo began to wake up a bit more. His arm was wrapped around McCree’s waist for stability, but hugged closer, leaning into McCree.

“What would I do without you?” He said, grinning into McCree’s neck.

“Drown, probably,” McCree said, trying his best to ignore Hanzo’s advances. He wasn’t about to give into any of what Hanzo was trying to offer, not when he was this wasted. They got to McCree’s room, and he closed the door behind him. Luckily, it was still semi tidy from Hanzo’s last visits, which were always following a thorough house cleaning. Hanzo withdrew his roaming hands and looked around the room. McCree took off his own shoes and jacket, and ducked into his drawers for two night shirts, bottoms, and a towel. Hanzo spied a familiar looking hat hanging on McCree’s bed post, and grabbed it, laughing as he flipped it in his hands.

“The cowboy hat! I love this hat!” He said. McCree cringed, remembering that Hana had brought it down from the attic as a joke. Hanzo put it on his own head, not seeming to notice the way it dropped down over his eyes.

“Howdy, partner,” Hanzo said, in a disgustingly bad western accent, despite his regular drunken English slurred and barely understandable through his Japanese accent. He balled his hands into fists and swung them, like an old Clint Eastwood movie. “I’m Jesse McCree, and ain’t I the root tootin’ cutest cowboy that I’ve ever McSeen in my whole gosh darn life,” McCree laughed and Hanzo giggled, nearly falling over. Jesse rushed and grabbed his torso, steadying him.

“Alright, darlin’. Very funny. But I gotta get you out of these wet clothes,” Hanzo grinned as McCree’s hands dove under his shirt, lifting it up. Hanzo raised his arms and took the hat from his own head, placing it on McCree..

“I wish you would wear the hat more often,” Hanzo said, grinning. “I love it when you dress like a cowboy. It’s sexy,,” He said, leaning into McCrees hands, which were frozen halfway up his boyfriend’s torso, showing off half of his perfectly toned abs. 

“Oh my God,” McCRee whispered. “You have a cowboy fetish. This makes so much sense,” 

“I didn’t until a few years ago, when I met you,” Hanzo said.

McCree could feel his own blush burning his face, which Hanzo noticed. He laughed, and shrugged off the rest of his shirt, leaning into McCree. He gave him a sloppy kiss under his chin, but McCree pulled him away quickly. He picked up the towel and quickly wrapped it around him.

“Here, get dry. Take of your bottoms and put these on,” He said quickly. He removed his hands from Hanzo, who just laughed again. McCree retreated to the bathroom, where he brushed his teeth and changed into his pajamas, afraid of what Hanzo would do if he saw him naked. When he left the bathroom again, Hanzo was wearing pajama shorts, thankfully, but no shirt. McCree sighed, and decided this was a good as it was going to get. He grabbed a water bottle from on top of his dresser and handed it to Hanzo.

“Drink this,” He said, and Hanzo didn’t argue. He drank most of it, but kept his eyes locked on McCree, who went to his closet, pulling out extra blankets and sheets.

“The kids are takin’ up the couch, so I’m gonna set up camp on the floor, if that’s alright with you,” He said, throwing the pillows down on the floor. This was definitely gonna fuck up his back, but his ma had taught him manners and how to treat a guest. He was about to throw the sheet down when Hanzo wrapped his arms around him from behind, leaning up to whisper in his ear.

“Don’t be foolish,” He said in what he probably thought was a quiet tone. “We’ll share the bed. It won’t be the first time,” He grinned wickedly as McCree sighed and turned to face him, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend’s waist. He ducked down and kissed him, making Hanzo smile. He still tasted the alcohol on him, but he let it be. McCree pulled away before either him or Hanzo could get to excited. He plucked the hat off his own head and put it on the the bed stand.

“Alright then, c’mon,” McCree pulled away, and lifted the covers. He scooted into the bed, and held up the covers for Hanzo to lie next to him. Instead, Hanzo climbed on top of McCree, straddling him. He leered over him, grinding down. At this point, McCree was too tired to fight. He grabbed Hanzo’s hips, halting his movements.

“Babe, not now,” He said. Hanzo sobered up at the seriousness of his tone. “We’re both tired. Anything you wanna do, we can do in the morning. That sound alright?” He asked. Hanzo looked down at him, shivering a bit, due to his bare chest. He studied McCree for a bit, who stared right back. Then, he lowered himself down, laying on top of McCree, chest to chest. McCree wrapped his arms around his boyfriend.

“Keep your head sideways, in case you throw up,” He said, rubbing his hands on Hanzo’s back. “Also, please don’t throw up on me or my bed,” He pleaded. Hanzo’s legs were still on either side of him, the metal cool on McCree’s skin.

“I love you,” Hanzo whispered. McCree froze. They had never said the words to each other, despite knowing each other forever. McCree’s heart was slamming in his chest, and he was sure Hanzo could feel it, considering how McCree could feel how steady his was. “I’ve loved you for a long time. Years, perhaps. I don’t know why I don’t tell you. I think it everytime I see you. Maybe I’m afraid you won’t like who I am. I am not sure. However, I do know that I love you,” he mumbled into McCree’s chest. He yawned. 

“Babe…” Hanzo started. Hanzo cut him off.

“If you love me, tell me in the morning, so I can remember. If not, do not tell me,” He said. He rose his head and smiled at McCree, blurry eyed and red. He stretched up and gave McCree a quick peck on the lips. McCree was still in shock, so he just stared down at Hanzo, who made himself comfortable on McCree’s chest.

There was a lot to think about, and years of public school showed that thinking was not McCree’s strong suit. He wasn’t used to being the guy someone gave a loving confession to late at night, he was the kind of guy you left an apology note to when you skipped town. He had gotten used to carving out another space in life for Hana, but was growing fond of the idea of carving out two more spaces.

He remembered the car ride with Genji, the boys scars, why he felt the mechanical wurr of Hanzo’s legs on his. The apology to Genji, the way he smiled and laughed with McCree. The fight yesterday, the way Genji looked when he was about to cry. When dropped work for an hour to pick up Hana from school when she felt sick and McCree was swamped, when he got into a verbal fight with a PTA mom who called Genji a ‘problem child’, when he patched up the hole at the Inn. The way Hanzo seemed to keep everyone, even McCree at an arm's length, the way he would disappear after fights, how McCree would always initiate any emotional conversation. The way he talked to Hana. The way he fought with Genji. Hanzo telling him he loved him for years. Hanzo having to be drunk to say it. 

Sleeping on his chest, McCree could almost feel the force of Hanzo’s baggage weighing him down. He found it matched quite well with his own.

\---

McCree woke up to the loving sound of retching and coughing in his bathroom. A quick glance at the clock told him it was just before 8. He found the irony in Fareeha’s birthday ruining two Sundays in a row. He grunted and forced himself out of his nice, warm bed and into the cold, harsh bathroom.

Hanzo was leaning against the side of the tub, legs stretched out, rubbing his face. His hair was made up into a ponytail again, but he was still shirtless. His tattoos seemed a lot more vivid in the morning light. He didn’t notice McCree at first, but when he did, his eyebrows shot up in surprise.

“I’m sorry to wake you,” He said, rubbing his temples. McCree opened the door widely to let in the natural light, and flicked off the noisy and bright bathroom fluorescents. Hanzo sighed into his hand. “Thank you,” He mumbled.

McCree sat next to him on the floor, and put a hand on his leg. Hanzo responded by leaning on him, resting his head on his shoulder.

“Thank you for taking care of me,” Hanzo said.

“Thank you for not throwing up in my bed,” McCree responded.

“Thank you for leaving me the bag with ginger ale and aspirin,”

“Thank you for making me sleep on the bed instead of the floor,”

“Thank you for bringing me here,”

“Thank you for being here,”

“Jesse,” Hanzo started. “I don’t remember much from last night. Did I do anything embarrassing?” He asked. McCree moved his arm from Hanzo’s leg to his waist, snuggling closer.

“When Genji and I picked you up, you were splashin’ around in the pond at the Inn with Fareeha,” He said, and Hanzo groaned into his side. “You said some very inappropriate things to me in Japanese, which probably scarred Genji. You tried to seduce me several times, and you said you liked my cowboy hat,” Hanzo groaned again, hiding his face, which was turning bright red.

“Did I say anything else?” He asked McCree looked down at him. His eyes were squeezed shut. He gently pushed some of Hanzo’s grey hairs out of his sweaty face.

“Nah, nothin’ bad. Just a lot of nonsense and laughing,” He smiled. Glanced up at McCree, who smiled down at him. Hanzo hid his own involuntary smile in McCree’s shirt.

“I wasn’t the only one to get drunk, right?” He asked. McCree laughed and shook his head.

“Nah, Fareeha was at least 10 steps ahead of you. I’m sure she’s still clinging on to Angela, callin’ her pet names,”Hanzo laughed, relieved.

“I take it you’re not afraid of her, anymore?” He asked.

“It’s hard to be afraid of a woman who’s biggest problem with her wife is leaving towels on the floor,” He said, chuckling. McCree looked at Hanzo, whose eyes were shut. He was drifting off to sleep again, looking peaceful. He was never this relaxed during the day, and McCree loved the way his features smoothed out and mouth hung slightly opened. He thought this might be a nice sight to wake up too every morning.

“Hey, Hanzo,” He whispered. Hanzo grunted in response. “If I tell ya somethin’, you promise not to forget it?” He asked. Hanzo kept his eyes closed.

“Mmmm, maybe,” He mumbled. McCree grinned down at him.

“I love you,” McCree said. He imagined he would be a lot more nervous about this moment, but was weirdly calm. On the other hand, Hanzo’s eyes flew open. He raised his head, searching McCree’s face for any hint of doubt. McCree smiled at him kindly.

“Don’t say it unless you mean it,” He whispered. McCree grinned at the irony, before giving Hanzo a kiss on the forehead.

“I love you,” He repeated. Hanzo’s face grew bright red, and he stared into McCree’s eyes for a second. He eventually lowered his head back to it’s previous position on McCree’s side.

“I love you, too” He said, after a moment. McCree grinned widely and stroked Hanzo’s hair.

“I know,” He whispered. 

All in all, it was the only acceptable reason to be awake before 10 am on a Sunday.

**Author's Note:**

> So this is the second in a Gilmore Girl's AU, I have some more planned, Like might as well make it a series, yaknow?
> 
> Some Notes:  
> 1) Lucy/Ricky are from "I Love Lucy", Hal and Louis are from "Malcolm in the Middle"  
> 2) Non American or Non Popculture readers, John F. Kennedy was a president, but was assassinated, and his family was fucking weird. Like Rich People who can only marry pre approved people weird.  
> 3) Tarantulas do make a fucking noise google it it's fucking creepy.  
> 4) Really getting into Pharmercy, so I might do a chapter telling their story. Ana Amari WILL play a bigger role because honestly she's perf. Also probs a chapter from Hanzo's POV  
> 5) FUCK CANON Hanzo's fucking chicken legs are robotic I could have changed it so he had human legs but Canon is fucking dumb Pharah is missing all her limbs too whatever  
> 6) I do have a timeline written out for everything, but idk if I'll ever post it.  
> 7) My tumblr is fiftythreebean.tumblr.com but I mostly don't use it theres maybe one post but if you send me a question I will def answer it


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